Real Talk

Real Talk: Friendship is Complicated, And That’s Ok

I’m finally back with the second post in my Real Talk series for young women entering High School! As summer approaches, you are all probably getting more and more excited to finally be a High School-er… or maybe not.

Entering a new school, even with people you’ve known for ages can be tricky. Especially when everyone is just as stressed out about it as you are. High School is a period of time where you’re going to be learning a lot about yourself and changing a lot. And sometimes, these changes can place additional strain on previously strong friendships. But don’t worry! I’ve learned a few things over the past several years that may help you out!

#1: Your friend group will keep changing.

It’s hard to believe that your impenetrable girl squad could ever break apart but the unfortunate reality is that at some point, conflict is bound to happen. Understanding why conflict happens is critical to both maintaining friendships and preventing things from getting out of hand. Often times, dramatic life changes can influence the dynamic of friendships which have the potential to weaken or strengthen bonds. When I was first diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and whipped into a health crisis involving meds that didn’t work so well and a resulting eating disorder, I was shocked at how badly my friends reacted. Although, I did experience a lot of personality changes and had to make quite a few adjustments which may have contributed to the conflict. Even though it’s definitely a bummer, I understand that those friendships simply aren’t compatible anymore. And that’s totally fine.

#2: Fake friends exist, but they’re easy to spot.

One of the most important things to understand is that it’s critical to trust your instincts. If you get the feeling that someone doesn’t have your best interest in mind, you’re probably right. In this case, it’s best to avoid situations that make you vulnerable. As long as you are confident in your self and your worth, it’ll be so much harder for people to use you. Most people try to go for people who they believe can be most easily influenced; so stand up straight and don’t let them intimidate you.

#3: Don’t sign up for classes just because your friends are taking them.

I can’t tell you how many times I have signed up for classes thinking my friends would be taking them and then being completely disappointed when we’re scheduled for two separate class blocks. Make sure you are making academic decisions for yourself and only yourself. Trust me, you don’t want to get stuck in a class that you hate just because you wanted a class with your best friend. By taking classes that you actually love, you’ll have the opportunity to meet other people with similar interests as you and it’ll be awesome!

#4: Don’t boyfriend swap.

So you think your best friend’s ex is cute, right? And she says it’s fine so there’s nothing wrong with it, right? Girl, please do not put yourself in this situation. There is nothing worse than letting a boy compromise your friendship with someone because trust me, no boy is worth the price of your best friend. Even though she may say she’s fine with it, she may not feel comfortable letting you know what she really thinks. By keeping it all balled up inside, tensions can arise faster than you would believe. Go ahead and pass on this boy and keep your friends close. They’ll be plenty even better guys to meet later on. (Note: this applies to girlfriends as well. We’re inclusive here.)

 

I hope you all can find this advice helpful and remember, you’re always welcome to comment or email me any additional questions you may have! Have a great day and good luck at school!

Until Next Post,

Bekah

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