I’d like to start of this post by introducing my first post SERIES on this blog, Real Talk. Real Talk will be catering to girls, more fairly referred to as young women, who are entering High School. Next year being my last year in High School, I wanted to do something for my readers who are about to embark on the self-discovery journey of a lifetime by giving them real, uncensored, big sister-like advice to help them get through the next four years. I’ll be discussing a super wide range of topics including squads, schoolwork and grades, relationships and sex (ooh scandalous), and self-care and discovery. And feel free to ask questions! Who knows, maybe you’re question will turn into a post! Now onto todays topic… dating! Super fun right? Well, potentially.
Tip #1: Senior boys are sketchy. Don’t look at ’em. Don’t touch ’em. Don’t date ’em.
I know, I know. They’re cute right? But don’t be fooled by their smooth talking and weird half-mustache whatever-the-hells. All jokes aside, Seniors who go for Freshman are predatory. In most cases these boys are already 18, aka legal adults, which makes it very illegal for you, a minor, to date them. And trust me, you aren’t missing out on anything. My freshman year I too though it would be a bright idea to “be a big girl” and associate myself with a really sketchy senior dude in my French class. Huge mistake. There were red flags flying everywhere: he didn’t talk to me at school, he only texted me super late at night, he wouldn’t let me tell my friends about him, and I later came to find out that he was really really REALLY into drugs. Yikes. Moral of the story, it’s not worth it.
Tip #2: It’s ok for you to like that cute girl in your science class. It’s not weird at all.
So you’ve survived your boy crazy middle school years and you’re ready for four more when, BOOM! Into your science class (or any class.. its just an example) walks a gorgeous, powerful earth-goddess and you are sold. Now granted, this might not happen to everyone but my point is, if it does, its all cool! It’s ok if it is or if it isn’t “a phase”. Being gay, bi, straight, questioning, it’s all just another part of life that we can’t control. So if that’s you, then own it! Feeling a certain way about a certain type of person shouldn’t change how you feel about yourself. And honestly, who knows! That cute girl in your science class might be thinking the same thing about you. Go say hi cause at the end of the day, at least you’ll have made a cool new friend. We’re all winners here.
Tip #3: Tell your mom about who you like and if you start dating someone.
Talking to your mom? About life? How lame! First of all, you have got to get yourself out of this mentality because these next four years, your mom is going to be your best friend. Don’t get me wrong, best friends DO fight but at the end of the day you’re still best friends (hopefully). Same goes with your mom. If there’s some reason you can’t tell your mom about these things, pick another adult female to talk to about your love life. It’s for safety reasons. If you’re hanging out with a guy (or girl) and something happens, you need to have someone who will drop everything to bail you out of whatever situation you’re in. A little inconvenience is not worth your life or safety. And plus, your mom wants to know what going on in your life! Just because they’re old doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate some juicy gossip now and then.
Tip #4: You don’t have to wait around for your crush to ask you out.
Out of all the asking-out-situations that have happened to me in my life, I initiated all but one. And it was great! Even though I’ve had more than my share of rejection, ultimately you end up saving a lot of precious time and you don’t have to play the guessing game. Confident, assertive women are hot. Anyone who says otherwise is probably one of those creepy senior dudes I was telling you about. (Seriously girl! Don’t even think about it!) If the person who you ask out really likes you, they won’t care one bit who does the asking. Now go put your big girl pants on and go for it!
Tip #5: Consent is a necessity.
Whether you decide to be abstinent or not, consent is the golden rule when it comes to engaging in sexual activities. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. And if your partner doesn’t want to, you must respect their decision. No matter what, remember that consent must be mutual between you AND your partner.
I hope you get something from this advice regardless of if you plan to date in High School or not. Remember to put yourself first and take care of your health and safety. My e-mail is always open to questions.
Until next post,